Professional and personal communication is one of my biggest challenges. As an INTJ, I can be brutally honest, speaking my mind without sensing the effect my words and tone have on others. I just blurt out what I want to communicate without considering whether it’s the right time or place to do so.
I’ve found I have better skills when I write it all out in an email or written correspondence. But this misses many nuances and can be misunderstood.
At the other end of the spectrum, I clam up when the emotional environment hits like a battering ram.
Most of us have emotional triggers that we aren’t aware of until we blow up or “lose it”. These learned responses helped us to survive unpleasant situations (often in our childhood). Unfortunately, those very habits (cues/triggers, course of action or response, and rewards) that allowed us to survive in childhood now sabotage or hamper our growth and relationships.
I’m not talking about PTSD triggers: those are at another level, where it’s not merely a habit. These triggers actually require deeper assistance, such as therapy.
These habitual responses are survival tactics, often learned in our childhood. I adeptly overlook and sidestep…
I occasionally write about living with Coeliac Disease, SIBO, colitis, and related chronic conditions. I’m reminded that others also struggle, and that that I can support them sharing my challenges, and the resulting highs and lows.
So, this post is a little more personal, with details that go above and beyond what I might normally share. Warning: there will be talk about irregular bowel movements, bloating, discomfort and pain!
Living with chronic illness hasn’t stopped me believing that life can be awesome.
Obviously, it comes with ups and downs, good days and bad days.
Every time you sit down to eat, you have an opportunity to love and respect yourself. Do you have a great relationship with your body, or do you struggle with self-love and acceptance? What opportunities arise when you simply ditch the diet in favour of listening to what your body is communicating?
Could you learn to listen to all the inner wisdom that your body has to share? Listening to your gut provides an opportunity to show greater love and respect for yourself and others.
There is only one expert in your body. YOU.
Your doctor only knows what you…
I have just restarted Louise Hay’s book “ Mirror Work: 21 days to heal your life “ (June 2nd). Admittedly, on previous attempts, I never finish the 21 days. Just another step along the journey of inner work I’ve been doing in 2020.
What will be different this time?
The accountability of doing it with a group! At the moment, in my book club, we are reading “ You can heal your life” — Louise Hay, as well as Mark Wolynn’s “ It Didn’t Start with You”.
While 2018 and 2019 were all about growth and healing, it seems that…
“Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” Helen Keller
Is our need to stay in the security of our comfort zone overrated? We know that change is constant and inevitable, yet most of us resist change. We even resist the change that is for our good.
When things are bad, we are quick to accept that things are continually changing and will get better. Nonetheless, when things are going well, we try to convince ourselves that things will stay as they are. Even so, change happens, whether we like it or not.
“It is easy enough to be friendly to one’s friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Valentine’s day is almost here, and I want to challenge you to love the people that trigger you and rub you the wrong way. The people that don’t fit your ideal image of what humanity looks like at its best. This might be:
February — the month of love; it’s a month for practising compassion. Love isn’t just about romantic love, although that can be one part of it. It’s also not only family, friends, parents, children or other loved ones. We can practice love and compassion with strangers, with coworkers and even with people that we might dislike or disagree with.
For me, compassion allows my heart to lead, rather than the inner critic in my head. In part, it involves empathy; where I sense another person’s pain or suffering and am moved to alleviate it through kind actions. Compassion is proactive…
One of the reasons that we find ourselves unhappy is our lack of authenticity. This sadness usually happens because we are unaware of being out of alignment.
For example, one of our values might be family and relationships. Nonetheless, our definition of success might be solely focused on our career and professional development. To be successful, we sacrifice our family and relationships, living up to our goals and dreams. Nonetheless, we feel that we are living a meaningless life.
Of course, this only happens because we are unaware of the disconnect between our values and our goals or purpose. To…
For me, the year 2018 was all about finding my voice and becoming me authentically. I discovered areas I focused on people-pleasing. I was busy living up to expectations, rather than speaking my truth.
It came on the heels of burnout. I recognised that recovery required a new set of standards and values by which to lead my life!
Maybe some of the following words or phrases resonate with you:
blogger, coach, and international law consultant. Writing about faith, growth, transformation & change.